Show Us Your Compulsive Yet Basically Useless Maintenance Rituals

Kinja'd!!! "mtdrift" (mtdrift)
12/06/2013 at 14:15 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!3 Kinja'd!!! 21
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Nothing like a trip home for a major holiday to force you into acknowledging how old you're getting. I felt this especially keenly last week when Mrs. mtdrift and I stayed a few days with my folks for Thanksgiving.

Let's face it, while none of us are getting any younger, we cling to notions of our own identity that are wrapped up in our youthful conceptions of ourselves. Whenever someone mentions something that happened twenty ten years ago, my mind immediately goes to 1994, not 2004. Computationally I'm nearing crisis age, but I still feel like I'm 25. Hell, I still weigh the same as I did when I was 25. I don't feel old, but damn if I'm not getting there. To be honest, I don't dwell on it too much, but sometimes the fact just hits you hard in the ass like that first colonoscopy.

On Friday after the holiday I hopped in the passenger side of my old man's '08 Impala SS to go run some errands with him. The hardware store, gas station, liquor store - a manly trip if there ever was one. I give my dad a lot of credit for sacking up and buying the SS when he could have settled for the soul-crushing boredom of the V6. Despite its shortcomings, I really like the car, and I think it'll be a future classic - front-wheel-drive V8s win all day long in my book.

At any rate - after the hardware store, when we stopped to fuel up, I squeegeed the windshield and dad popped the trunk and pulled a bottle of Iso-HEET from what can only be described as a Costco-grade package of Iso-HEET. Dozen and dozens of the skinny red bottles lined the trunk like little methanol soldiers.

Kinja'd!!!

"Dad - you still run HEET in your car?" He'd been faithfully putting HEET in every winter tank since the Ford administration, when a '70 Beetle was his daily.

"Yup, take a couple bottles if you want, you can use 'em on the drive home. I've never had a frozen gas line in all those years."

A fact that I could not in any way dispute. As I stood there, watching him peer over his bi-focals at the pump display, hand leaning on the nozzle, he seemed to me to age immediately - a couple lost inches, a few gained pounds, a lot less hair. Old man traveler cap. I thought of the sunset of leaded gasoline, the advent of fully sealed and self-contained fuel systems, the addition of ethanol to winter fuel, the dozens of more sophisticated gasoline additives on the market. The frozen gas line was a relic of the past. Yet here he was dumping a glorified bottle of $4 rubbing alcohol in the tank of his thoroughly modern car with every fill-up. He does the same thing for my mom's 3-month-old Hyundai. Does it hurt anything? No. But it's certainly solving a problem that doesn't really exist.

Watching my father age before my eyes didn't reflect on him in the least, in fact it had nothing to do with him - it was all in my head, it made me feel old, and tired. How many thousands of gallons of HEET had he gone through in the last thirty forty years? Why had he maintained this outdated and useless practice? I was definitely ready to hit the liquor store.

But - this long meditation on mortality led me to a car-related question. What kinds of maintenance rituals do we stubbornly refuse to let go of simply because we've always done them that way? What are the feel-good things we do for our cars that are quaint and ritualistic, but don't really make a damn bit of difference to the car?

What's your HEET?


DISCUSSION (21)


Kinja'd!!! Party-vi > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:20

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Changing my own oil. Sure, Jiffy Lube can do it quicker and marginally as expensive as I can, but I still prefer to perform my own oil changes.


Kinja'd!!! mtdrift > Party-vi
12/06/2013 at 14:21

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Perhaps, say, every 3000 miles, even when pretty much every modern engine can go 5-7 thousand between changes?


Kinja'd!!! RW53104 > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:21

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This is not my personal practice, but my grandfather's trick is to run premium in a car that takes regular every once in a while to clean things up or cure a strange noise or... Well I'm not sure what else this "remedy" is aimed at, but I'm pretty sure no modern car benefits much from it.

Not that I haven't tried. Nor been flabbergasted when it "cured" a strange noise coming from my first car.


Kinja'd!!! Sn210 > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:22

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But 1994 WAS twenty years ago...?!

I shut off my radio, heat/AC, wipers etc. off before I turn off the ignition. Every time. I'm not sure if it conserves battery life, but I'm going on year 6 with the original battery! It drives my wife nuts.


Kinja'd!!! mtdrift > Sn210
12/06/2013 at 14:25

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I like this one! And, I clearly can't do math.


Kinja'd!!! Party-vi > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:27

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Nah - BMW says 15,000 and I usually hit it at 12,500 miles.


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:30

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Depends. I drive car with an engine that was built ten years ago, but designed in 1992. Every 3000 miles it is!


Kinja'd!!! Busslayer > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 14:32

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Fuel stabilizer. I used to use it when storing my car for the winter and in my small engines. Then I read a very convincing post by an oil company engineer on a different forum. He called bullshit on stabilizers. He explained all the testing oil companies do and that it takes years for fuel to really go bad and, even then, the pint of snake oil does nothing to change that.


Kinja'd!!! I_AmDeath > Party-vi
12/06/2013 at 14:53

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Even if they can do it at the same price you have enough time to really drain the oil vs most shops waiting until its just barely streaming to put the drain plug in.


Kinja'd!!! Bruno Martini > mtdrift
12/06/2013 at 15:00

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I change oil every 5k on my car. With full synthetic, and take pride in never sending my car to the dealer or any shop for routine maintenance. AT the end of the day my newer car takes 8 freaking quarts of oil, and a filter that somehow seems more expensive with every change. Unless I find a sale on my favorite oil, I buy it full price. Most oil is sold in kits and therefore I have to buy two kits of the stuff and on a cheap day it costs me 60bux. On a non cheap day it costs me 100... Funny thing is the dealer charges around 100 to change it.... I run my oil for 5k, even though the manufacturer recomends 7.5K for their blend and 10k for synthetic..... I use synthetic and throw out perfectly good oil every 5k.... Ain't this a bitch. But no engine hes ever been damaged because of spec fresh oil. I also refuse to go to gas station to inflate tires, and manually check them every season, I use my own compressor. Already burned out one after nearly 7 years of use.


Kinja'd!!! I_AmDeath > Bruno Martini
12/06/2013 at 15:06

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You should atleast make that 7500... So your only wasting 1/4th of that oils potential.


Kinja'd!!! Bruno Martini > I_AmDeath
12/06/2013 at 15:22

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Yeah, somehow I don't feel comfortable with oil that's been beat on for 7.5k miles in my crankcase.


Kinja'd!!! Zoom > Busslayer
12/06/2013 at 21:16

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I call bullshit on his bullshit. Talk to Team Honda or Team Yamaha at the next Supercross event you come across. Especially when they were running two strokes, those teams would purchase fuel and mix it as close to race day as possible. In Michigan, they would even bring fuel in from the last state, since we had tested poorly in consistancy. They claim evaporation of certain parts of the fuel would occur in plastic cans after about 3 weeks, and in metal cans about 12 weeks, to the point where it would be discarded.

Additionally, I don't know exactly why stabil works, but between dirt, water and road, I put away about 15 engines for a 4 month winter, and it's better than allowing fuel to evaporate in float bowls.


Kinja'd!!! Zoom > RW53104
12/06/2013 at 21:20

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Occasionally a fuel supplier will stack a additive package in their permuim to add value. Whether this makes a difference or not is up to debate, but I believe it.

BG, Pro-Tec, and Amzoil have pretty convincing demonstrations of how their additives work.


Kinja'd!!! RW53104 > Zoom
12/06/2013 at 21:28

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That's good to know. Do they advertise this? How long has that been going on?

Just curious, because he never said "make sure it's the one with the additives" but perhaps you have a point.


Kinja'd!!! Zoom > RW53104
12/07/2013 at 02:28

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I've been in dealership service departments since the '80's. BG (Bearing and Gear), Pro-Tec (from European descent) as well as at least two other US domestic snake oil distributors will -as an example- demonstrate carbon elimination procedures literally in front of your eyes. And carbon deposits will kill moving parts inside an engine.

Do not minimize what some of these are trying to tell you. In regional climate situations (read : lots of moisture and heat or cold) above board fluids and additives will protect metals and sealing in any engine.


Kinja'd!!! bob and john > mtdrift
12/09/2013 at 22:59

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granted, this is on a motorcycle, but i change my oil every 3000k km (~2000 miles) or after its been in storage for more then 3 months. and throw in a new filter every time too.
oh, and when I do store it, i fill the crankcase entirely with oil.


Kinja'd!!! Hi there > Bruno Martini
12/10/2013 at 07:18

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Yeah, that 7500 and 10k recommendation is for grandma drivers. I wager a lot of Jalop vehicles fall into the "severe use" category, which necessitates more frequent oil changes amongst other things.


Kinja'd!!! Hi there > Sn210
12/10/2013 at 07:20

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I do it too, mainly just so no accessories like a/c or heat are on when I next start the car. I'm anal about usually letting it run for a couple minutes in the summer and 5 minutes in cold weather before I drive it and I don't like the a/c making it idle a bit faster and waste gas or the heater make it take forever to warm the engine up.


Kinja'd!!! SaabMcViggerton > Bruno Martini
12/10/2013 at 09:18

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I agree... I drive a stage 3 Saab Viggen and I know they claim 5k with synthetic...

I still do 3k... Personally I believe Mitsu. TD04 Turbos are particularly hard on oil.. and I don't want to find out I am right...lol

in a fusion I would do 5k or 7.5k.. or whatever they recommend....


Kinja'd!!! GanjaTwister > Bruno Martini
12/10/2013 at 10:33

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You should be doing a used oil analysis. For $25 it will help you be comfortable running that oil for 15k miles or more.

Trust me, I thought 5k was plenty on my oil too. After some testing those filters lasted 10k miles and the oil was good for another 10k with a top-up. It really helps justify that extra cost when you can run it 4x longer.